Every time I hear that dear old wedding march

I feel rather glad I have a broken arch

I have heard a lot of people talk

And I know that marriage is a long long walk

To most people

Weddings mean romance

But I prefer

A picnic or a dance

Another bride another groom

Another sunny honeymoon

Another season another reason

For making whoopee

The chorus sings Here comes the bride

Another victim is by her side

He's lost his reason 'cause it's the season

For making whoopee

Down through the countless ages

You'll find it everywhere

Somebody makes good wages

Somebody wants her share

She calls him Toodles and rolls her eyes

She makes him strudles and bakes him pies

What is it all for

It's so he'll fall for making whoopee

Another year or maybe less

What's this I hear well can't you guess

She feels neglected so he's suspected

Of making whoopee

She sits alone most every night

He doesn't phone or even write

He says he's busy but she says Is he

He's making whoopee

He doesn't make much money

Five thousand dollars per

Some judge who thinks he's funny

Says You'll pay six to her

He says Now judge suppose I fail

The judge says Budge right into jail

You better keep her you'll find it's cheaper

Than making whoopee