Aunty lacks the social graces

She pulls the most peculiar faces

In the most public of places

She really is a scream

Her voice is lound her manners too

Her dresses green and her jokes quite blue

But you should see her dance the Hoochie Coo

The Lindy or the Frog

Everyone says Aunty's thrifty

But they don't know her hidden gifts she

Seldom pays but goes shoplifty

She's mastered slight of hand

She favours all the better stores

Shoplifting from floor to floor

And always one step from the law

Her friends are bores or frightful smarties

They're really not the type for Aunty

Still she gives the most outrageous parties

And everybody comes

A nuisance everywhere she goes

An embarrassment to those she knows

But I know where her money goes

She's left it all to me