The bar will soon be closing

And lights they're all turned down

There's 3 girls in a corner booth

The fat one she's passed out

Her friends they called me over

And it turned out she was stuck

With the help of 4 big bouncers

We put her in my truck

Me old jack daniels

Had been together most of the night

Somehow he'd convinced me

She was the prettiest thing in sight

I got her home i opened the door

And i rolled her to my bed

The lights came on she opened her eyes

And this is what she said

Wmmmm wmmmm wmmmmmmm

Wmmmm wmmmm wmmmmmmm wmmm

Morning came that sun was up there to my surprise

Was a big old girl with no clothes on

And oprah winfrey thighs

I sat up fear set in

I found we were alone

She said that she was hungry

Whilst she was nibbling on a chicken bone

The words she said next scared me

And today the haunt me still

She said i hope you've got a steady job cowboy

I said why's that sheila

She said i'm not on the pill that's why

I said oh

With that in mind i tried to run

Lord i tried to get away

She ran me down hopped on top

And here's all i could say

Huh oh wmmmm get off me wmmmm wmmmmmmm

Wmmmm ohh your crushing me wmmmm wmmmmmmm

Get off me you heffer

The Night The Bar Closed Down - Rodney Carrington