My wife used to say she couldn't understand

Why I make my living working with my hands

She met a junk bond daddy

And he broke up my home

He made his living on the telephone

Daddy spied my darling

Dialed her number then

They took off next morning

And she won't be back again

I may not be good looking

And I never been to school

But I patched up my broken home

Using simple tools

Simple tools simple tools I like simple tools

I'm just a common ordinary workaday fooi

I might not be the brightest

Bulb or the straightest mIe

But I can mend my broken heart

Using simple tools

I can talk to girls in bars maybe a few

We'B drink a Iittle glass

Of wine or maybe two

I might wake up in gay

Paree or good old San Berdoo

The gals appreciate a man

That uses simple tools

I won't be walking 'round

All night wondel'in' what to do

And I won't be calling up

The morgue askin' for you

Or beating down these memories

With one of your old shoes

I can do the job in half the time'

Cause I use simple tools

Simple tools simple tools I like simple tools

I'm just a common ordinary workaday fooI

I might not be the brightest bulb

Or the straightest rule

But I can do the job in half the time

Using simple tools simple tools