They've been laughin' since I can't remember

But they're not gonna laugh anymore

No more "Maxie the geek"

No more "goof of the week" like before

No more algebra tests till September

No more lookin' at losers like him

No more having to cheat

No more mystery meat

No more gym, no more gym, no more gym, no more gym

Gonna move to the mall

Gonna live in the pool

Gonna talk to Roxanne

And not feel like a fool

'Cause after today I'm gonna be cruisin'

After today she'll be mine

After today my brains will be snoozin'

If I don't faint, I'll be fine

I've got 40 more minutes of home economics

Then down with the textbooks and up with the comics

Just think of all the time I've been losing

Finding the right thing to say

But things will be going my way after today

She looked right through me

And who could blame her

I need a new me

Plus some positive proof that I'm not just a goof

And after today I'm gonna be cruising

No more pep rallies to cut, blech

After today our brains will be snoozing

I'm gonna sit on my butt

I've got less than an hour

And when this has ended

I'll either be famous

Or you'll be suspended

Just think of all the time I've been losing

Waiting until I could say

Gonna be on my own, kiss the parents goodbye

Gonna party from now till the end of July

Things'll be going my way after today

I wish that this was the day after today