Who Needs a Boy?

Some boys will bring you flowers

Some will even serenade

But you and me will while away the hours

Just a-dishing and a-throwing shade

Forever side by side

Through snark and snide

I′m stuck to you like glue

So honey, who needs, who needs a boy? When I got you

When life's losers and clowns start gettin′ ya down

I'll be there to share your cunning glare (ha!)

And when the stink of the world makes you just wanna hurl

You can count on me to hold your hair

'Cause when it comes to hate, I′ve found the perfect mate

And baby, no one else will do

So tell me, who needs, who needs a boy? When I got you

And I never expect you to hold me tight and lock me in your lovin′ gaze

But I know I'll have a shoulder to cry on

That′s if I were inclined to such pathetic displays

Guys may come and guys may go

And we'll size ′em up in half a glance

Say Maury, these kids got some chemistry

Nope, she'll never get into his pants, sorry

Maybe some day we′ll find true love

And drift apart like friends will do

But 'til then

Who needs a boy?

Some moron that soon will annoy

I ask ya, who needs a boy? When I got you!