I used to dream that I would discover

The perfect lover someday

I knew I'd recognize him if ever

He came 'round my way

I always used to fancy then

He'd be one of the god-like kind of men

With a giant brain and a noble head

Like the heroes bold

in the books I've read

But along came Bill

Who's not the type at all

You'd meet him on the street

And never notice him

His form and face

His manly grace

Are not the kind that you

Would find in a statue

And I can't explain

It's surely not his brain

That makes me thrill

I love him because he's wonderful

Because he's just my Bill

He can't play golf or tennis or polo

Or sing a solo or row

He isn't half as handsome

As dozens of men that I know

He isn't tall or straight or slim

And he dresses far worse than Ted or Jim

And I can't explain why he should be

Just the one, one man

in the world for me

He's just my Bill an ordinary man

He hasn't got a thing

that I can brag about

And yet to be upon his knee

So comfy and roomy seems natural to me

Oh, I can't explain

It's surely not his brain

That makes me thrill

I love him because he's, I don't know