Otto Titsling, inventor and kraut,

had nothing to get very worked up about.

His inventions were failures,

his future seemed bleak.

He fled to the opera

at least twice a week.

One night at the opera he saw an Aida

who's t ts were so big they

would often impede her.

Bug eyed he watched

her fall into the pit,

done in by the weight

of those terrible t ts.

Oh, my god! There she blows!

Aerodynamically this b h was a mess.

Otto eyeballed the diva lying

comatose amongst the reeds,

and he suddenly felt

the fire of inspiration

flood his soul. He knew

what he had to do!

He ran back to his workshop

where he futzed and futzed and futzed.

For Otto Titsling had found his quest:

to lift and mold the female breast;

to point the small ones to the sky;

to keep the big ones high and dry!

Every night he'd sweat and snort

searching for the right support.

He tried some string and paper clips.

Hey! He even tried his own two lips!

Well, he stitched and he slaved

and he slaved and he stitched

until finally one night, in

the wee hours of morning,

Otto arose from his

workbench triumphant.

Yes! He had invented the worlds first

over the shoulder boulder holder.

Hooray!

E hausted but ecstatic he ran

down the street to the diva's house

bearing the prototype

in his hot little hand.

Now, the diva did not want

to try the darn thing on.

But, after many initial misgivings,

she finally did.

And the sigh of relief that issued forth

from the diva's mouth

was so loud that it was mistaken by some

to be the early onset

of the Siroccan Winds

which would often roll

through the Schwarzwald

with a vengeance!

Ahhhhh i!

But little did Otto know,

at the moment of his greatest triumph,

lurking under the diva's bed

was none other than the very worst

of the French patent thieves,

Philippe DeBrassiere.

And Phil was watching the scene

with a great deal of interest!

Later that night, while

our Brun Hilda slept,

into the wardrobe Philippe softly crept.

He fumbled through knickers

and corsets galore,

'til he found Otto's titsling

and he ran out the door.

Crying, "Oh, my god!

What joy! What bliss!

I'm gonna make me a million from this!

Every woman in the world

will wanna buy one.

I can have all the goods

manufactured in Taiwan."

The result of this swindle

is pointedly clear:

Do you buy a titsling or

do you buy a brassiere?