He wants a shoehorn

The kind with teeth

People should get beat up

For statin' their beliefs

He wants a shoehorn

The kind with teeth

'Cause he knows there's no such thing

He asked a girl

If they can both sit in a chair

But he doesn't get nervous

She's not really there

He wants a shoehorn

The kind with teeth

'Cause he knows there's no such thing

Tour the world

In a heavy metal band

But they run out of gas

The plane may never land

He wants a shoehorn

The kind with teeth

People should get beat up

For statin' their beliefs

He wants a shoehorn

The kind with teeth

'Cause he knows there's no such thing

What's the sense

In ever thinkin' 'bout the tomb

When you're much too busy

Returnin' to the womb?

He wants a shoehorn

The kind with teeth

People should get beat up

For statin' their beliefs

He wants a shoehorn

The kind with teeth

'Cause he knows there's no such thing