I have a dream I'm here to tell

About a wonderful fantastic new hotel

Yes it's one of a kind right here in hell

Catering to a specific clientele ooooh

Inside of every demon is a rainbow

Inside every sinner is a shiny smile

Inside of every creepy hatchet- wielding maniac

Is a jolly happy cupcake- loving child

We can turn around they'll be heaven bound

With just a little time down at the happy hotel

So all you junkies freaks and weirdos

Creepers f**k- ups crooks and zeroes

And downfallen superheroes help is here

All of you cretins sluts and losers

Sexual deviants and boozers

And prescription drug abusers need not fear

Forever again we'll cure your sin

We'll make you well you'll feel so swell

Right here in hell at the happy hotel

There'll be no more fire and no more screams

Just puppy dog kisses and cotton candy dreams

And puffy- wuffy clouds you're gonna be like wow

Once you check in with me

So all your cartoon porn addictions

Vegan rants psychic predictions

Ancient Roman crucifixions end right here

All you monsters thieves and crazies

Cannibals and crying babies

Frothing mouth is full of rabies filled with cheer

You'll be complete it'll be so neat

Our service can't be beat you'll be on easy street yes

Life will be sweet at the happy hotel

Yeah