Tonight at seven, in a rare televised appearance - only his second in eight years of leadership - Kleptistan's Prime Minister will address the nation.
In this live broadcast, he will respond to corruption allegations, address the nation's challenges,
and present what he claims to be solutions to Kleptistan’s
dire economic situation.
Join us at seven pm for this live address from the nation's leader.
„Money, money, precious and fine
Money, get over here, it's time!”
Ancient Kleptistani proverb
Pjetrö: He thinks this is a place where I am for the taxpayers.
Waiter: What can I get you gentlemen?
Majka : Water… please. Then he turns to me and says…
Son, you need to to this for your country.
Just one drop from this truth serum in his drink would make him
come clean on all those dirty deeds he committed in the past eight years.
And he won’t be able to lie. Cheers!
God bless Kleptistan!
Hello, sweetheart! How are you?
So.
Money, money, sweet money mine
Come here, come here, cross the line
Money, money, precious and fine
Money, get over here, it's time!
Eight years I've been ruling the land
„Russkies out” was the winning chant
Old money came handy back in the day
When protests cost me just one eye, hey
We grew bigger like a faithful mass
Just had to give the gays some flak
Laughed at fools who played our game
Just promise them
wealth and fame
Soon I saw we needed plans
With my old pals I made commands
My crew's got records, that's for sure
When streets need muscle, they're the cure
An old mate knocked upon my door
Veteran of fuel scams from before
Washed cash clean, all neat and right
Made him finance minister
overnight
A little drips and drops from here and there
In freezing cold
or scorching summer air
'Cause I survive it all, you see
The laws are written just for me
It drips and drops
From heaven's cash must fall like props
'Cause I survive it all with ease
The boss is cash's best friend, please
Stashed a billion, maybe two
Worth getting up, that much is true
First twenty made my hands all shake
The rest were easy cake to take
Ride's so smooth, you paid it you fool
Always find luxury ain't it cool
Bought watches, bags, a jungle too
Cum guzzling secretary nothing to rue
Just had to survive election day
Find something catchy new to say
Need something they should fear at night
Something complex, not quite right
With Jews we're careful, they're around
And have their hands where cash is found
No need to push the Roma down
They help when the victor's to be crowned
Tenders fixed, thugs all set
Friends of friends get pardons, you bet
Pay some journos outta pocket
Fuckheads praise you like a rocket
A little drips and drops from here and there
In freezing cold
or scorching summer air
'Cause I survive it all, you see
The laws are written just for me
It drips and drops
From heaven's cash must fall like props
'Cause I survive it all with ease
The boss is cash's best friend, please
Oh you heavenly, divine gangsta soul
Takes what he needs, keeps full control
Brave commander, skin snow-white
Fighting for principles day and night
For homeland, God, and every child's right
A little drips and drops from here and there
In freezing cold or scorching summer air
'Cause I survive it all, you see
The laws are written just for me
It drips and drops
From heaven's cash must fall like props
'Cause I survive it all with ease
The boss is cash's best friend, please
Listen sweetie
You know why we did all this?
Why all this fucking fuss?
What else could it be, huh?
Money, money, sweet money mine
Come here, come here, cross the line
Money, money, precious and fine
Come here now, it's about time
Damn, I love money!
Fuck yeah!
Following the interview, the members of the TV-crew tragically and quite unexpectedly fell out of a hospital window.
One of them survived the fall but then fell out again...
The waiter tried to defect to Australia on a crayfish boat...
Following the interview, the Prime Minister promptly established a full dictatorship.
He and his right hand (Josef) continue to maintain their relationship is purely professional.
