I am a burden on everyone in my life
I don't deserve anything
I will be alone forever
I will sit and watch everyone I know
Grow and love and get married
While I sit alone and do nothing
I am not a good person, I am selfish
I ruin everything with my own selfishness
I will be alone when I die
I long for a deep connection that I will never have
I will never find love
I will always be in a constant cycle of feeling like this
I will always want more
I will never be satisfied for more than a few months at a time
I apologize to my friends
I apologize to everyone I know
I am selfish, angsty and embarrassing
I have become someone I hate
I will never have a wife
I will never have children
I will visit my friends
And meet their wives and husbands and children
And feel a deep ugly jealousy
I will be alone, I will die alone
I will end up sad and alone
And the only person to blame will be me
I love you and I'm sorry for everything