Fat sausage sarnie and a runny egg

I said err minging filthy stinking

This one's dirty like a crackhead's kitchen

I was sipping whiffing 40 pound ticking

I was broke in Tesco's nicking chicken

Look can I' ay vandal gamble Amstore

Screwball and I scramble

Jingle and I jangle

So if you need the vibes

Just give me a bell though

I told her that my name

Was Elro well though

You sure that's Coke

**** no's John

'Cause I feel all wonky

I'm gonna' pop to smoke

I got two ticks on me

I lost them both

So I asked this worldy

What was your issue

It was a joke

Can you lend me a fiver love

Just emptied the fruity twice

Popped to the bar

**** her ice

Caught eyes with a girl that's nice

**** what she bought

Then bought it twice

I might be the awkward type

But I can fix that with

A bag that's white

If you try call that guy

And he don't text back

Then ring that twice

I met this Slater girl

I think her name was Kat

And I think she's fit

But she probably thinks I'm fat

And it probably doesn't

Help that I'm a massive twat

But I do have a butcher

And his name is Pat

I'm a mishap with a hit- flask

And a Kit Kat and a six- pack

And some **** chat and

A chick that got a big back

But right now I'm on my own

I'm linking with the lads later

So I'll have two pints of

Guinness please thanks waiter

Thanks waiter thanks waiter thanks waiter

Thanks waiter

Fat fat fat fat fat fat fat sausage

Sarnie and a runny egg

Fat sausage where you stick it

Tell her check her back pocket

Wrong socket then I take

Your mic and run to stage rocket

Here's one for your nostril

Call me Nostradamus

Catch me with the actors and

The gangsters and the pranksters

And the w**d farmers

I'm your favourite dealer celebrity

And as I say this one

Just pay me some

I don't care one bit what playlist

Play this one

Just swiftly do a Jägerbomb with

Kaylee's son and Rv John

Then Taylor Swift inside the booth

Toilet with your baby mom