Stan

My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin

why I got out of bed at all.

The morning rain clouds up my

window and I can't see at all.

And even if I could it'd all be

grey. But, your picture on my wall,

It reminds me that it's not

so bad, it's not so bad.

My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin

why I got out of bed at all.

The morning rain clouds up my

window and I can't see at all.

And even if I could it'd all be

grey. But, your picture on my wall,

It reminds me that it's not

so bad, it's not so bad.

Dear Slim,

I wrote you but you

still ain't callin'

I left my cell, my pager,

and my home phone at the bottom

I sent two letters back in Autumn.

You must not have got them

There probably was a problem at

the post office or somethin'

Sometimes I scribble addresses

too sloppy when I jot 'em

But anyways, f k it, what's been

up man, how's your daughter?

My girlfriend's pregnant too,

I'm 'bout to be a father

If I have a daughter,

guess what I'ma call her?

I'ma name her Bonnie.

I read about your uncle

Ronnie too, I'm sorry

I had a friend kill himself over

some b h who didn't want him.

I know you probably hear this

everyday, but I'm your biggest fan.

I even got the underground

s t that you did with Scam.

I got a room full of your

posters and your pictures, man.

I like the s t you did with

Ruckus too, that s t was phat.

Anyways, I hope you get this

man, hit me back, just to chat

Truly yours, your biggest

fan, this is Stan.

My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin

why I got out of bed at all.

The morning rain clouds up my

window and I can't see at all.

And even if I could it'd all be

grey. But, your picture on my wall,

It reminds me that it's not

so bad, it's not so bad.

Dear Slim,

You still ain't called or wrote,

I hope you have a chance.

I ain't mad, I just think it's

f ked up you don't answer fans.

If you didn't want to talk to me

outside the concert you didn't have to,

But you could have signed

an autograph for Matthew.

That's my little brother,

man. He's only 6 years old.

We waited in the blistering cold for you

For 4 hours and you just said,"No."

That's pretty shitty man,

you're like his f kin' idol

He wants to be just like you man,

he likes you more than I do.

Sometimes I even cut myself

to see how much it bleeds.

It's like adrenaline. The pain

is such a sudden rush for me.

See, everything you say is real, and

I respect you 'cause you tell it.

My girlfriend's jealous

'cause I talk about you 24 7.

But she don't know you like I

know you, Slim, no one does.

She don't know what it was like

for people like us growing up.

You've gotta call me man. I'll be

the biggest fan you'll ever lose.

Sincerely yours, Stan.

PS: We should be together too.

My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin

why I got out of bed at all.

The morning rain clouds up my

window and I can't see at all.

And even if I could it'd all be

grey. But, your picture on my wall,

It reminds me that it's not

so bad, it's not so bad.

Dear Mr. "I'm too good to

call or write my fans"

This'll be the last package

I ever send your ass.

It's been si months and still

no word. I don't deserve it.

I know you got my last two letters, I

wrote the addresses on 'em perfect.

So this is my cassette I'm

sending you. I hope you hear it.

I'm in the car right now.

I'm doing 90 on the freeway.

I loved you Slim, we could have

been together. Think about it!

You ruined it now. I hope you can't

sleep and you dream about it.

And when you dream, I hope you can't

sleep and you scream about it.

I hope your conscious eats at you

and you can't breathe without me!

See Slim? Shut up bitch,

I'm trying to talk!

Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend

screaming in the trunk.

But I didn't slit her throat,

I just tied her up.

See, I ain't like you.

'Cause if she suffocates,

she'll suffer more,

And then she'll die, too.

Well, gotta go, I'm

almost at the bridge now.

Oh shit, I forgot, how am I

supposed to send this s t out?

.................

Dear Stan,

I meant to write you sooner,

but I've just been busy.

You said your girlfriend's pregnant now

how far along is she?

Look, I'm really flatterd

you'd call your daughter that.

And here's an autograph

for your brother:

I wrote it on a Starter cap.

I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show

I must have missed you.

Don't think I did that s t intentionall

, just to diss you.

But what's this s t you said about

you like to cut your wrists too?

I say that s t just clownin' dog

c'mon, how f ked up is you?

You got some issues, Stan,

I think you need some counselin'

To help your ass from bouncin' off

the walls when you get down some.

And what's this s t about

us meant to be together?

That type of shit'll make me

not want us to meet each other.

I really think you and your

girlfriend need each other.

Or maybe you just need

to treat her better.

I hope you get to read this letter.

I just hope it reaches you in

time before you hurt yourself.

I think that you'd be doin' just

fine if you'd rela a little.

I'm glad I inspire you, but

Stan, why are you so mad?

Try to understand that

I DO want you as a fan.

I just don't want you

to do some crazy shit.

I seen this one s t on the news a

couple weeks ago that made me sick.

Some dude was drunk and

drove his car over a bridge

And had his girlfriend in the trunk,

and she was pregnant with his kid

And in the car they found a tape,

but it didn't say who it was to.

Come to think about it...

his name was... it was you!

Damn.