Now there's all sorts of medicines that you can buy

No matter what ailment you've got

But I know a special one you ought to try

You'll find it's the best of the lot

It's my auntie Maggies home made remedy it's guaranteed never to fail

That's the stuff that will do the trick

It's sold at every chemist for one and a kick

Now if you've got lumbago rheumatics or gout

Or a pain in your Robert E Lee

Don't kick up a shindy you'll never get windy with auntie Maggies remedy

If you set your alarm clock for eight in the morning

You're bound to wake up I'll agree

But I'll bet you by heaven you'll wake up at seven

With my auntie Maggies remedy

Oh my auntie Maggies home made remedy it's guaranteed never to fail

That's the stuff that will do the trick

It's sold at every chemist for one and a kick

In a young ladys bedroom I went by mistake

My intentions were honest you see

She shouted with laughter I know what you're after

It's my auntie Maggies remedy

Oh my auntie Maggies home made remedy it's guaranteed never to fail

That's the stuff that will do the trick

It's sold at every chemist for one and a kick

Now I know a girl who was putting on weight

In a spot where it just shouldn't be

So I said to Nellie now you rub your ankle with auntie Maggies remedy

Now you rub your ankle with auntie Maggies remedy