I saw a garage sale

Pulled up in the yard

Found a statue of jesus

It was eight feet tall

He held out his arms

And he seemed all alone

So i loaded him up

And drove him home

Out by my driveway he

Looks down the street

Long hair and sandals made

Of rebar and concrete

I painted him white with a long purple robe

He's a rock of ages on our gravel road

He's an eight-hundred pound jesus

Standing taller than a tree

He's an eight-hundred pound jesus

A bigger man than you or me

I thought loosin' my job was

The end of the world

Till my best pal ran off with my best girl

I felt suicidal with no real friends

So i walked outside with a rope in my hand

Out by that statue there's a big old tree

So i stood on his shoulders

And i counted to three

I had every intention of buying the farm

But when i jumped off he caught me in his arms

He's an eight-hundred pound jesus

Standing taller than a tree

He's an eight-hundred pound jesus

A bigger man than you or me

I wanted to return the favor to him

Cause i never had a more solid friend

So i planted some flowers

All around his feet

And i bought him a flock

Of ceramic sheep

He's an eight-hundred pound jesus

Standing taller than a tree

He's an eight-hundred pound jesus

A bigger man than you or me

He's a bigger man

Than you or me