I'm not afraid of the dark

I'm afraid of what's in the dark

That I cannot see

Because it's so dang dark

So dang dark

So dang dark

So dang dark

So dang dark

There might be a ghost in the dark

That's pretty unlikely

But there definitely could be a slippery spot

And that's arguably even more frightening

There might be a sudden level change

Like an unexpected step down

Your foot is still up in the air

When your brain thought it'd be on the ground by now

There might be some fungus

Because they like it where it's dark and moist

Wait, are we talking about mushrooms

Athlete's foot but you make a good point

Cuz some mushrooms are deadly

And in the dark I might be fooled

But it's not like you have to eat it

But you know how much I love mushrooms

I'm not afraid of the dark

I'm afraid of what's in the dark

That I can not see

Because it's so dang dark

So dang dark

So dang dark

So dang dark

So dang dark

There could be two fractions in the dark

And they need to be added together

But I don't remember how to add fractions

And I don't have a calculator

There might be a jury summons

And it says you gotta go in on your birthday

But I have to look at murder photos

While I'm trying to enjoy my ice cream cake

There could be a brand new home

Congratulations

But they started fracking at the edge of my neighborhood

And now my home is depreciated

What if there's a blank canvas

Where do I even start?

And is it even worth the risk

Who am I?

Should I go back to law school

I'm not afraid of the dark

I'm afraid of what's in the dark

That I can not see

Because it's so dang dark

So dang dark

So dang dark

So dang dark

So dang dark