Ooh, well
Ooh, yeah
Yeah, oh
Oh, yeah
Well, the church burned down and no one knew
What the Pentecost baptists was gonna do
The Sunday brimstone got so dadgum hot
It burned up a church bus in the parking lot
In a panic, the Reverend Dr. White
Called up an ex-member that hadn't lived right
He owned Joe's Beer Joint right across the fence
It's the same Joe he'd preached against
He said, "I don't really wanna be a hypocrite
I got a Sunday school class about to have fits
We're all excitеd about revival week
And being moved by thе spirit, so to speak
With all the souls we've saved and money we spent
We though God told us to sell that tent
I got a famous evangelist s'posed to come
Done ran outta chairs, will you loan us some?"
Joe said, "Well, y'all can just use the whole damn place
Just hang out on the jukebox, amazing grace
I ain't supposed to be open 'cause of them blue laws
But we'll open tonight, if it's alright with y'all"
Preacher says, "Well, I reckon it'd be okay
The good Lord works in mysterious ways
We gonna talk about Joshua, Judges, and Ruth
And I reckon I could do it from the DJ booth"
At the First Baptist Bar & Grill
It's the only church in the Bible belt
That smells like a whiskey still
When the sinners finish one more round
We'll have dinner on the ground
And go inside, and pray we don't get killed
The evangelist came with a well-dressed choir
They showed up around happy hour
Looked around the joint and didn't take it real well
Said the White Ministry has gone to hell
Ms. Mills had taught youth Sunday school
And two deacons in the back room shooting pool
We're sharing the Lord with a Jim Beam rep
Who was teaching Ms. Mills some line dance steps
Reverend White was reading from the Book of Luke
To a tall drunk trucker about to puke
He had John 3:16 memorized
Trying to draw him out to get him baptized
The evangelist yelled about the lights and the beers
Said, "White, you can't save any souls in here
This place ain't nothing but a den of sin
Ain't the kinda place Baptists ought to be in"
Preacher says, "Well, we don't really need y'all here
You didn't do a very good job last year
You only saved one sinner, and that's Todd Maguire
The little S.O.B. that set my church on fire"
Joe's Beer Joint has done been revived
Only been here an hour and I done saved five
Sure, it's got mirrors and a big dance floor
But I finally found the flock God called me for
They're at the First Baptist Bar & Grill
It's the only church in the Bible belt
That smells like a whiskey still
Not a stained-glass window anywhere in sight
Just a blood stained floor and neon lights
And the communion wine in here is always chilled
And we're here every Sunday, we're living large
We're the only church with a cover charge (oh yeah)
And if you don't like our doctrine and think we ain't devout
We'll have our bouncer throw your butt out (ooh)
Of the First Baptist Bar & Grill (oh)
(Oh, yeah, yeah)
Amen, sister (ooh)
(Amen)
