Ladies and Gentlemen
of the class
of Ninety Nine
Wear Sunscreen
If I could offer you
one tip for the future
sunscreen would be it
The long term
benefits of sunscreen
have been proved
by scientists
where the rest
of my advice has
no basis more reliable
than my own
meandering experience
I will dispense
this advice, now
Enjoy the power
and beauty of your youth
or nevermind you will
not understand
the power and beauty
of your youth
until they've faded
But trust me
in Twenty years
youâll look back
at photos of yourself
and recall in a way
you canât grasp now
how much possibility
lay before
you and how fabulous
you really looked
You are not as fat
as you imagine
Donât worry about the future
or worry, but know
that worrying is as effective
as trying to solve
an algebra equation
by chewing gum
The real troubles
in your life
are apt to be things
that never crossed
your worried mind
the kind that blindside
you at Four P M
on some idle Tuesday
Do one thing everyday
that scares you, sing
Donât be reckless
with other peopleâs hearts
donât put up with people
who are reckless with yours
Floss donât waste
your time on jealousy
sometimes youâre ahead
sometimes youâre behind
the race is long
and in the end
itâs only with yourself
Remember the compliments
you receive, forget the insults
if you succeed
in doing this, tell me how
Keep your old love letters
throw away your
old bank statements
Donât feel guilty
if you donât know
what you want to do
with your life
the most interesting people
I know didnât know
at Twenty Two
what they wanted to do
with their lives
some of the most
interesting Fourty year olds
I know still donât
Get plenty of calcium
Be kind to your knees
youâll miss them
when theyâre gone
Maybe youâll marry
maybe you wonât
maybe youâll
have children
maybe you wonât
maybe youâll
divorce at Fourty
maybe youâll dance
the funky chicken
on your Seventy fifth
wedding anniversary
what ever you do
donât congratulate
yourself too much
or berate yourself either
your choices
are half chance
so are everybody elseâs
Enjoy your body
use it every way you can
donât be afraid of it
or what other
people think of it
itâs the greatest
instrument youâll ever own
Dance even if you
have nowhere to do it
but your living room
Read the directions
even if you
donât follow them
Do not read
beauty magazines
they will only make
you feel ugly
Get to know
your parents
you never know
when theyâll be
gone for good
Be nice to your siblings
they're your best link
to your past
and the people most
likely to stick
with you in the future
Understand that friends
come and go
but with a precious few
you should hold on
Work hard
to bridge the gaps
in geography and lifestyle
because the older you get
the more you need
the people you knew
when you were young
Live in New York City once
but leave before
it makes you hard
live in Northern
California once
but leave before
it makes you soft
Travel accept certain
inalienable truths
prices will rise
politicians will philander
you too will get old
and when you do
youâll fantasize
that when you were young
prices were reasonable
politicians were noble
and children
respected their elders
Respect your elders
Donât expect
anyone else
to support you
Maybe you have
a trust fund
maybe you'll have
a wealthy spouse
but you never know
when either one
might run out
Donât mess too much
with your hair
or by the time
you're Fourty
it will look Eighty Five
Be careful whose
advice you buy
but, be patient
with those who supply it
Advice is a form of nostalgia
dispensing it is a way
of fishing the past
from the disposal
wiping it off, painting
over the ugly parts
and recycling it
for more than itâs worth
But trust me
on the sunscreen