Now there's all sorts of medicines that you can buy

No matter what ailment you've got

But I know a special one you ought to try

You'll find it's the best of the lot

It's my Auntie Maggie's home made remedy

It's guaranteed never to fail

That's the stuff that will do the trick

It's sold at every chemist for one and a kick

Now if you've got lumbago rheumatics or gout

Or a pain in your Robert E Lee

Don't kick up a shindy you'll never get windy

With my Auntie Maggie's Remedy

If you set your alarm clock for eight in the morning

You're bound to wake up I'll agree

But I'll bet you by heaven you'll wake up at seven

With my Auntie Maggie's Remedy

It's my Auntie Maggie's home made remedy

It's guaranteed never to fail

That's the stuff that will do the trick

It's sold at every chemist for one and a kick

In a young lady's bedroom I went by mistake

My intentions were honest you see

She shouted with laughter I know what you're after

It's my Auntie Maggie's Remedy

Oh my Auntie Maggie's home made remedy

It's guaranteed never to fail

That's the stuff that will do the trick

It's sold at every chemist for one and a kick

Now I know a girl who was putting on weight

In a spot where it just shouldn't be

So I said to Nellie Now you rub your ankle

With Auntie Maggie's Remedy