Have you heard of the D'Ysquith family?

The D'Ysquiths? Why, yes of course. Hasn't everyone?

Then you've heard of Highhurst Castle?

Of course

You're aware, then, of their position, their vast wealth, and influence?

Yes. Yes. What's it got to do with me?

You're a D'Ysquith

What?

You're a D'Ysquith

No

The D'Ysquith blood is flowing through you

Me? A D'Ysquith?

A genuine bona fide D'Ysquith

Rubbish

Of course, of course, you don't believe me, do you?

You must be mad

Very well, then. If your mother was not a D'Ysquith, what was her maiden name?

She always insisted that the only name that mattered... was my father's

Your mother lived like a princess in every way

The daughter of Lord Maximilian

Till she met your father one fateful day

She knew it was love, and yet

The family declared she'd been led astray

By a climby, claimee Castilian

"Let him go or else you'll know

A life you will live to regret!"

This was no idle threat

"You're a D'Ysquith!

You're a perfectly breed-able D'Ysquith!

And a D'Ysquith does her duty, don't forget!"

There was nothing your mother could say

She eloped with your father the very next day

So, she was… disinherited?

In a word, yes. Despicable, the lot of them

How awful

Your mother made me promise I'd never tell

But, now she is no longer living

She wanted to spare you her pride in Hell

But, I think you deserve to know

Take this knowledge and use it well

Her family may yet be forgiving

This will guarantee

You the right to be

On the family tree

And it seems to be

Indisputably

Head to toe!

You're a D'Ysquith

A D-apostophe-Y-squith

There can be no other way to view it

Montague, you're a D'Ysquith

I'm all of a sudden a D'Ysquith

Yes! And it's time that everybody knew it

You are the son of the daughter

Of the grandson

Of the nephew

Of the Second Earl of Highhurst! Your turn!

I am the son of the daughter

Of... the grandson

Of… sorry?... the nephew

Of the Second Earl of Highhurst

The thought occurred to me, why should I believe a woman who could very well be insane? Yet, there seemed to be an air of authenticity to this document

I'm a D'Ysquith (You're a D'Ysquith)

It would seem I'm a D'Ysquith (You're a D'Ysquith)

Montague, I picture you at Highhurst

Yesterday I was Monty Nevaro

You could be an earl tomorrow

And Highhurst could be my hurst!

I'm a D'Ysquith

You're a D'Ysquith

A D'Ysquith

A D'Ysquith

A D'Y! Squith