Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
My feet are too long
My hair's falling out
and my rights are all wrong
My friends they all tell me
that I've no friends at all
Won't you write me a letter,
Won't you give me a call
Signed Bewildered
Bewildered, Bewildered...
You have no complaint
You are what your are
and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster,
and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck
and knocking on wood
Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
My fountain pen leaks
My wife hollers at me
and my kids are all freaks
Every side I get up on
is the wrong side of bed
If it weren't so e pensive
I'd wish I were dead
Signed Unhappy
Unhappy, Unhappy...
You have no complaint
You are what your are
and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster,
and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck
and knocking on wood
Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
You won't believe this
But my stomach makes
noises whenever I kiss
My girlfriend tells me
It's all in my head
But my stomach tells me
to write you instead
Signed Noise maker
Noise maker, Noise maker
You have no complaint
You are what your are
and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster,
and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck
and knocking on wood
Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend
would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat
just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers
and her pants to her knees
Signed Just Married
Just Married, Just Married...
You have no complaint
You are what your are
and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster,
and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck
and knocking on wood
Signed, Dear Abby!
