Relationships, huh? We got some relationships out there?
Yeah? Huh? Yeah? Look at this cute little couple.
Where did you guys meet?
At a bar.
At a bar? Nice. Classy guy right here.
Have you guys been on vacation yet? Vacation?
Yeah.
That's good. You guys really need to know each other before you take a girl on vacation, right?
Because if you guys get in a fight, you really don't have anywhere to escape.
Right? When she gets real, you're fucked.
I remember I just recently went on vacation with my girlfriend and we got this huge fight in the hotel room.
She flipped out. She went on level three flip out.
Ladies, you know what that is? Yeah.
Yelling, crying, throwing shit.
She got super dramatic in the hotel room. She was like, I'm gonna jump out the window.
I'm gonna jump out the window because of the way you make me feel.
I was like, oh my God.
I freak out. I run downstairs. I wake up the manager. I'm like, hey, wake up, bro.
Me and my girlfriend just got in this huge fight. He's like, that's not my problem.
I was like, look, man, I don't think you get it. She wants to jump out the window.
She's trying to kill herself. I need your help.
He's like, that's not my problem. I was like, it is your problem.
The window is stuck.
All right.
You need to go up there and fix that shit.
Because this is my only way out.
I'm terrible at dates, man. I'm terrible. I always try to say funny things all the time.
No matter what. Ever since I became a comic, I've been psychotic.
I just try to say funny shit in inappropriate situations.
Like recently, I'm out with a girl. She starts talking about her dad.
She gets real emotional. She's like, you know, when I was eight years old,
my dad went out to get hamburgers for the whole family and never came back.
And I was like, oh my God. Right?
Those must have been some amazing hamburgers.
Do you remember where he went?
