You knew she was in trouble
When you saw her bodyguard
When you saw those two together
You knew it wasn't hard
To see that she was different
Not just one of the girls
With their gliding and their sliding
And their pirouettes and twirls
Then it turned out that she smoked
And drank and posed practically nude
And she didn't smile all of the time
She got angry and was crude
No she wasn't goody-two-skates like
All the other girls
With their grinning and their spinning
And their winning little twirls
And her childhood was unhappy
Her mom was really weird
Her husband liked to hit her
But it was poverty she feared
She grew up in the trailer parks
Not like most other girls
With their gliding and their sliding
And their whirling little twirls yeah
Yes they all look like princesses
Little Barbies to the core
But she was your parents worst nightmare
The s**t who moved next door
From the wrong side of the track
She liked the boys more than the girls
With their gliding and their sliding
And their girlish dainty twirls
And it seemed like she was lying about
What she didn't know
And then she started crying
In the media sideshow
And in practice she kept
Falling down more than the other girls
With their gliding and their sliding
And their picture perfect twirls
And they almost towed her truck way uh
The whole thing was a drag
Forget about Campbell Soup and Reebok
Weedy's or the flag
Huh there'll be books
She'll make some money
That's what they're after
All these girls
With their selling
Kiss and telling and
Their twisted little twirls
So play the national anthem
Stand up proud and tall
Ooh we hope that ours don't stumble
And that theirs slip and fall
Remember Olga Korbut
What happens to these girls
With their triple-flips and axels
And their somersaults and twirls
Ice used to be a nice thing
When you laced up figure skates
Now it's a thing to win a medal
On for the United States
But once there were no lutzes
Axels pirouettes or twirls
Just giddy slipping sliding
Laughing happy little girls
