Front step, cha-cha-cha, back step cha-cha-cha, side step, front step, back, and

Turn

Oh my god, penny, there's link, link! I can't believe I'm really here auditioning!

I can't believe I'm really here watching you audition!

Front step, cha-cha-cha, back step cha-cha-cha, side step, front step, back, and

Oh, amber, look at this motly crew! Oh

This town has sure gone downhill since I was crowned miss

Oh, mother not more ancient history!

Oh, my god how times have changed, these girls must be blind, or completely deranged!

But, time seem to halt when I was Miss Baltimore Crabs

Amber, that move is far too dirty!

Mother, wake up from that dream of yours, this isn't 1930!

You can laugh, but life's a test!

Don't do this, don't do that!

Remember, mother knows best!

And the crowns in the vault from

When I won Miss Baltimore Crabs

These steps are perfect ammunition

Let me show you how you mommy dear

Took out the competition

Girls, go get them, boys lets rumba!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Those poor runner ups

Might still hold some grudges

They padded their cups

But I screwed the judges! Those broads thought they'd win if a plate they would spin

In their dance.hahaha.not a chance

Boys, put me down!

Oh, good morning ladies, lets see what you got!

Council members

Twist, twist, twist, twist, mashed potato, mambo!

Ready, begin

On my show you'll never find a thrusting hip or bump and grind!

Whats that, a dance for flees and tics?

Oh, you should have seen my bag of tricks!

Oh I hit the stage

Batons ablaze

While belting aida

And preparing souflees!

But that triple somersault

Is how I clinched Miss Baltimore Crabs!

Dance break!

Proceed

Are you scared we're on live?

No, I'm sure I can cope

Well, this show isn't broadcast in

Cinema scope!

I never drink one chocolate malt

No desserts for Miss Baltimore Crabs!

This one will never get a date in those hand-me-down clothes!

Ha kid, she'll never get a date

Till daddy buys her a new nose!

I would say

Oy gevalt!

If I wasn't Miss Baltimore Crabs

Do you dance like you dress?

Amber, there's no need to be cruel

Would you swim in an integrated pool?

I sure would! I'm all for integration! It's the new frontier!

Not in Baltimore, it isn't!

And may I be frank

First impressions can be tough

And when I saw you I knew it

If your size weren't enough

Your last answer just blew it!

And so my dear

So short and stout

You'll never be in

So were kicking you out!

With your form and your fate

Oh, it isn't your fault!

Just down with a case of

Miss Baltimore Crabs

Ergh you may go

Ummm... thank you?

I think they secretly liked you!

May I please audition?

Of course not

But you can bow and exalt

Cause' I am Miss Baltimore Crabs!

Crabs, crabs, crabs