I don't wanna feel better

No one's ever gonna love me like that again

I don't wanna get over you

I wanna sit with you in bed

I don't wanna feel better

I'd give anything to miss you again

I don't wanna get over it

I wanna get under it instead

A book sits on top of clean and messy blankets

On a bed that f*****g creaks at night when i get in it late

And late at night i'm chugging gatorade

And someone's breaking up

And i crack up because i know i'll never know just what to say

I'm a communist a terrorist a mpdg thot

Or i'm a sad girl in a dorm room

Living out the shitty christian plot of

Twilight or the bible or the lover by duras

Or i'm just really f*****g selfish and really f*****g lost

But someone loved me

Someone f*****g loved me

Someone f*****g loved me and i f*****g loved them too

God dammit i was worth something

I f*****g learned something

I had my cake

I ate it

It ate me too

And god no

I don't wanna feel better

I don't wanna feel better

I'd give anything to miss you again

I don't wanna get over it

I wanna rip it to shreds

We kept our liquor in a suitcase underneath my bed

And we drank it to go out or to stay in or to feel sad

But in a hot way in

A way i'll f*****g never have again

The sun has begun to set

I'm a socialist marxist libertarian s**t

I am an awkward teenaged virgin

And i sorta kinda laugh a lot in bed

But other times i cry or don't make noise at all

I'd give my life to have a room that feels that small

Someone loved me

Someone f*****g loved me

Someone f*****g loved me i loved them too

God dammit i was worth something

I f*****g earned something

I had a right to die a right to live and a right to choose too

And god no

Of course i don't wanna feel better

Can you f*****g imagine

No one's ever gonna love me like that again

I don't wanna get over it

I wanna rip the stars to shreds

I don't wanna feel better

I mean of course it hurt

Of course it f*****g hurt

It hurt like nothing in the world sometimes

And i was super scared

And we were all a train wreck but also somehow making it

I think i might've died there twice

And i would do it all again

I'm a nihilist a soldier an ocd machine

Or i'm a healthy baby girl who traded

Sunshine for disease

But when my head hit my cheap pillow

I could tell i had a heart

And i wanna tear this fascist milky way apart

Because someone loved me

Someone f*****g loved me

On my filthy life i loved someone i barely knew

God dammit i was worth something

I f*****g learned something

And it felt better in my mouth than fresh warm food

I guess i loved you

I guess i really loved you

On my filthy life i love someone i barely knew

And now you're over there

And i'm way over here

What am i gonna do