Last week I saw you in the lobby passin' through

You said, "Hey, how ya doin?" I said, "Pretty good, man, and you?"

Well, that wasn't true, I was actually doin' pretty bad

Havin' just received some unfortunate news from my dad

He had invested my inheritance in his new business plan

That plan was takin' teens to the prom in a fleet of used minivans

So at that moment, I didn't really care how you were doin'

And I don't remember your name, that's why I called you "man"

The other night at midnight, you called me on the phone

You asked if you woke me up, but I said, "No"

But the truth is I was in the deepest sleep of my life

Havin' the most realistic dream, I was flyin'

In the international human flyin' championship

Your sister was there and was about to give me a kiss

That's when you called me and asked me how to say guhnauchi

Listen closely, it's gnocchi

I'm just being honest-est-est-est

Uh, uh, uh, honestly, honesty means that much to me

Uh, uh, uh, honestly, honesty means that much to me, much to me

Remember on our recent romantic night out

You broke the silence by askin', "What are you thinkin' about?"

I said, "How much I love you," but that's not true

I mean, I do love you, I just don't think like you do

My brain is a sophisticated department of completely disconnected compartments

And at that particular moment I was thinkin' about sports

Last night, when I was quiet, you asked me, "What's wrong?"

I looked into your eyes and said, "Nothing at all"

That's not exactly true, I'm actually starting to resent you

And the work you're pouring into your taxidermy petting zoo

You haven't called me pookie-pie in over four months

Do you wanna preserve us or this dead dove?

I'm just being honest-est-est-est

Uh, uh, uh, honestly, honesty means that much to me

Uh, uh, uh, honestly, honesty means that much to me, much to me

The day before yesterday, you pulled me over and

Asked, "Do you have any idea fast you goin'?"

I said, "Oh, no, officer, I didn't even see you"

But I did see you, and I was going 72

And in full disclosure, my right speaker was blown

And for the preceding ten miles, my left blinker was on

(I had no intention of ever turning left)

You may recall I gave a testimonial for your product

I said, "The face cave in no way makes me look idiotic

I feel like I'm in a cave, even though I'm not really in a cave

Because the only thing in the cave is my face"

To tell you the truth, face caves are hostile

Unless you really like stalagmites up your nostrils

You know your terms and conditions agreement?

When I was updating my software, I didn't read it

I'm just being honest-est-est-est

Uh, uh, uh, honestly, honesty means that much to me

Uh, uh, uh, honestly, honesty means that much to me, much to me