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The Perfect Pokérap

Brian David Gilberthuatong
Mi⊮ahuatong
Letras
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So Terry, this one's for you

I want to be the best (Best, best, best)

Be the best (Best, best)

Uh, Bulbasaur, Charmander, Squirtle

Caterpie, Butterfree, Wurmple

Scorbunny, Sobble and Grookey

Lickitung and Lickilicky

Haxorus, Cofagrigus, Poliwrath, Mismagius

Fraxure, Crabrawler, Dewpider

Shellder, Cloyster, Haunter, Grimer

Golurk, Luxio, Swampert

Lilligant, Tynamo, Seismitoad, Politoed, Palpitoad, Seel

Parasect, Trevenant, Toxapex, Spheal

Mandibuzz, Scatterbug, Graveler, Pelipper

Elgyem, Pikipek, Clawitzer, Conkeldurr

Probopass, Scolipede, Delibird, Ursaring

Blaziken, Fennekin, Quilladin, Nidoking

(Be the best)

Skrrrelp! Alakazam, Patrat

Woobat, Swoobat, Crobat, Golbat, Zubat

Poochyena, Carracosta, Teddiursa, Umbreon

Alomomola, Chikorita, Gothorita, Druddigon

Snorunt, Tyrunt, Charjabug

Ninjask, Yamask, Avalugg

Finneon, Drapion, Jolteon, Sylveon, Glaceon, Espeon, Jigglypuff

Igglybuff, Wigglytuff

Dhelmise, Servine, Rockruff

Porygon, Porygon-Z, Porygon2, Ribombee

Skuntank, Klang, Klinklang

Miltank and Metang, Luxray

Pidgey, Hitmonlee, Skitty, Happiny, Mudbray

Lotad, Durant, Serperior, Gourgeist, Stoutland, Exeggutor

Abra, Seadra, Nidorina, Dewott, Chesnaught, Primarina

Omanyte, Dragonite, Charizard

Magnemite, Meditite, Dusknoir

Ivysaur, Venusaur, Minior, Garbodor, Ariados, Tyranitar

Glameow, Meowth, Exploud

Wobbuffet, Furret, Bellsprout

Starmie, Starly, Frogadier

Delcatty, Escavalier

Venonat, Poliwag, Hippopotas

Spinarak, Marowak, Jumpluff, Feebas

Foongus, Amoonguss and Pidgeotto

Weepinbell, Victreebel, Hakamo-o

Aurorus, Aromatisse

Medicham, Mamoswine, Slurpuff, Flabébé

Feraligatr, Eevee

Sigilyph, Elekid, Anorith, Inkay

(Gotta catch 'em all!)

Rowlet, Golett, Honedge, Archen, Croconaw

(Gotta catch 'em all!)

Sentret, Pignite, Bergmite, Mantyke, Kakuna

Sudowoodo, Wishiwashi, Popplio, Abomasnow

Charmeleon, Darumaka, Hariyama, Sharpedo

Whiscash, Raticate, Sableye

Sandslash, Kricketune, Cutiefly

Beautifly, Togepi, Volcarona

Magnezone, Lunatone, Roggenrola

Samurott, Oshawott, Whimsicott, Kangaskhan

Larvitar, Pupitar, Omastar, Kecleon

Togekiss, Simisage, Nidoqueen, Cottonee

Forretress, Salamence, Jellicent, Bunnelby

Piloswine, Carnivine, Illumise and Remoraid

I think we are done with the trip-l-et rap, so now let's rap to educate

Alright, here we go!

Are ya ready, friends? Hey, come on!

Let's learn a little something from the Pokémon

There's Persian and Mudsdale, Donphan and Huntail

Sandygast, Nosepass, Frosslass, Lapras

I love to say the Pokémon, but here's the catch

Saying them all kinda seems Farfetch'd

Let me Axew a question; wanna help me out?

It's time to Throh in more names

Come on, gimme a shout!

[Audience indistinctly shouting the names of 200 Pokémon]

Those Pokémon are Tentacool!

[Audience indistinctly shouting the names of another 200 Pokémon]

And those Pokémon are trash!

Combee my friend, I've got more to say

And if we Dig-a-lett-le deeper, we can learn today

So why not get Comfey, don't be Krabby or blue

Here are some lessons, and I Rotom for you

If you Muk around in class, you'll be distraught

Don't Bi-a-doof-us, just study a lot

If you're Slaking in school, you'll drop out sooner

And abstinence is key, or you'll get a Mime Jr

Swanna grab some candy for a sweet treat?

Amaura-mazing snack is a Pichu can eat

Bewear of Shiftry strangers who offer you hugs

And don't stick forks into Eelektrik plugs

Wear a Shelmet when you Rhydon bikes

Keep a well-stocked Bagon extra-long hikes

Make sure to stay away from that Ferroseed

And that's just one name people have for weed

There's Pansage, and Slowbro, Oddish, and Bonsly

Tropius, Seedot, Nuzleaf, and Stunky

And Blissey, Loudred, Dewgong and Goodra

Bounsweet, Bayleef, Hypno and Munna

You'll be Drowzee if you Swellow that Tangrowth smoke

Also Koffing and Weezing; hey! You might Machoke

So if someone says, "Hey, want some dank Lombre?"

Look 'em Dedenne the eye, and say, "No way!"

I tell you Natu do drugs, but if someone's smoking Treecko

Does that make them a bad person? Definitely no!

I don't mean to carr-Yanma point in this verse

Is that alienating drug users makes things worse

Don't lock someone up if they take a Hitmonchan

And criminalizing addicts is a really bad plan

Big pharma is the root of our country's problem with opiate addiction!

...Golem

Gastly, Horsea, Chansey, Burmy

Clefairy, Mankey, Klefki, Goomy

Hoo! Rapping's hard, lemme catch my breath

Might as well check how many we've got left!

There's less than 150 left

Can I really do this?

I used to have this dream, back when I was a child

I'd make the Pokérap listenable, and everybody called me reckless and wild

But I never gave up, I kept at it everyday

And with Pikachu beside me and my 'dex to guide me

I knew that there'd be a way

To ignore all of the naysayers

I'd need a thicker skin than Metapod

Wynaut leave my comfort zone, jump in the Unown

Maybe someday everyone will applaud

It's Absol-utely worth taking a risk

Plusle make a few friends as I try

Seaking how to be strong as I Raichu a song

Though I still don't know where to put Mr. Mime

But who cares if I couldn't find a good place to put

Togedemaru, Pyukumuku, Mawile, Sceptile, Weavile, Sandile, Helioptile, Leafeon, Gengar, Malamar, Marshtomp, Chatot, Simipour, Ferrothorn, Toxicroak, Minccino, Cinccino, Azumarill, Tranquill, Excadrill, Marill, Beedrill

...and Togetic, Basculin, Gigalith, Crabominable, Kingdra, Ambipom, Gastrodon, Bastiodon, Hippowdon, Vivillon, Bisharp, Liepard, Dunsparce, Aipom, Slakoth, Ralts, Dustox

I still found a way to put 'em in there

No matter the Scizor the scope of the task

I don't need a Magikarp-et ride

I'-Machamp-ion hero, there's nothing to Fearow

My true power comes from inside

And that brings us all of the way to the top

I've said every name I can say

I'll let my body confess the names that I can't express

Yes, it's time for the dream ballet

Come on!

[Instrumental break]

But there's one Pokémon, my own holy grail

That I gave Kevin Punt, I hope that bastard's in jail

'Cause of all Tangelas, Terry is the apex

And I gave him up for my 'dex

When you love Terry terribly, and then Terry is gone

What's the point of having every other Pokémon?

There's a wound in my heart that I can't get rid of

How can I find joy, without my tangly boy?

Why catch them all if you can't keep the ones that you love?

Terry!

Oh, Terry!

Más De Brian David Gilbert

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