They say to have her hair done

l** flies all the way to France

And Jackie's seen in a discothque

Doin' a brand new dance

And the White House social season

Should be glittering and gay

But here in Topeka the rain is a fallin

The faucet is a drippin

And the kids are a bawlin

One of 'em a-toddlin

And one is a crawlin

And one's on the way

I'm glad that Raquel Welch just signed

A million dollar pact

And Debbie's out in Vegas

Workin' up a brand new act

And the TV's showin' Newlyweds

A real fun game to play

But here in Topeka

The screen door's a bangin

The coffee's boilin' over

And the wash needs a hangin

One wants a cookie

And one wants a changin

And one's on the way

Now what was I doin

Jimmy get away from there

Darn there goes the phone

Hello Honey What that you say

You're bringin' a few ole

Army buddies home

Are you callin' me from a bar

Get away from there

No no not you honey

I was talkin' to the baby

Wait Hold on there's the door bell

Honey could you speak slower

He-Hello hello

When I swear

The girls in New York City

They all march for women's lib

And Better Homes and Garden shows

The modern way to live

And the pill may change

The world tomorrow

But meanwhile today

Here in Topeka

The flies are a buzzin

The dog is a barkin

And the floor needs a scrubbin

One needs a spankin

And one needs a huggin

And one's on the way

Oh I hope it ain't twins