I drove my Sarsen up your entry last night

I kicked door in at the break of midnight

I've got the feeling that your avoiding me

and when I come to catch you you'll run for your tea

I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots

I've got a pretty new flak jack a lovely khaki suit

When we go on night patrol we hold each other's hand

we are the British Army and we're here to take your land

My good friend Bertie he's in the UDR

To search for weapons he will go near and far

Up around by Kappa you'd never find him there

The only gun he'll get there is an Armalite in his ear

I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots

I've got a pretty new flak jack a lovely khaki suit

When we go on night patrol we hold each other's hand

we are the British Army and we're here to take your land

My good friend Trevor he's in the RUC

But now they've handed him his redundancy

Folks along the border won't be seeing him any more

that provo sniper will be missing him for sure

I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots

I've got a pretty new flak jack a lovely khaki suit

When we go on night patrol we hold each other's hand

we are the British Army and we're here to take your land

My good friend Nigel he's in the SAS

He said a change is just as good as arrest

Now they've gone and posted him way down to Crossmaglen

he wished to blazes he was back in jail again

I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots

I've got a pretty new flak jack a lovely khaki suit

When we go on night patrol we hold each other's hand

we are the British Army and we're here to take your land

I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots

I've got a pretty new flak jack a lovely khaki suit

When we go on night patrol we hold each other's hand

we are the British Army and we're here to take your land

My good friend Sammy he's in the DUP

An upstanding member as all the world can see

I said Go up to Donegal if you want to have some fun

He said I'll take a run there if I have nothing on

I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots

I've got a pretty new flak jack a lovely khaki suit

When we go on night patrol we hold each other's hand

we are the British Army and we're here to take your land

My good friend Johnny he's left the UDA

He said it'll fair the LDF any day

Calling all his friends Get ready for a fight

He's made an appointment to meet Billy Wright

I've got a brand new shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots

I've got a pretty new flak jack a lovely khaki suit

When we go on night patrol we hold each other's hand

we are the British Army and we're here to take your land