When I was young
And just a bad little kid
My momma noticed
Funny things I did
Like shootin' puppies with a BB-Gun
I'd poison guppies
And when I was done
I'd find a pussy-cat
And bash it's head
That's when my momma said
What did she say
She said my boy I think someday
You'll find a way
To make your natural tendencies pay
You'll be a dentist
You have a talent
For causing things pain
Son be a dentist
People will pay
You to be inhumane
You're temperment's wrong
For the priesthood
And teaching would
Suit you still less
Son be a dentist
You'll be a success
"Here he is folks
The leader of the plaque "
"Watch him suck up that gas
Oh My God "
"He's a dentist and
He'll never ever be any good "
"Who wants their teeth done
By the Marqui DeSade "
"Oh that hurts Wait
I'm not numb "
"Eh Shut Up Open Wide
Here I Come "
I am your dentist
And I enjoy the career that I picked
I'm your dentist
And I get off on the pain I inflict
I thrill when I drill a bicuspid
It's swell though then
Tell me I'm mal-adjusted
And though it may
Cause my patients distress
Somewhere Somewhere
In heaven above me
I know I know that
My momma's proud of me
"Oh Momma "
'Cause I'm a dentist
And a success
"Say ahh "
"Say AHhhh "
"Say AAARRRHHHH "
"Now Spit "
