Times are lookin' bleak,

So princess, take a peek

See, ev'ry day it's sink or swim

Famine's on the rise

With vultures circling the skies

And prospects, well, they're rather grim

Let me break you the news, the odds can't be beaten

And a man's gotta choose: will he eat or get eaten?

Does that dampen your day? Do the facts make you frown?

Wakin' up to the real world is bringin' you down?

Well, that sounds an awful lot like princess problems

Fin'lly learnin' that life's not fair

Seems to me you got some princess problems

Ain't it crummy when folks won't share?

I could try being "kind," or... whatever you said

It's just that I'm partial to not bein' dead

So I'm stickin' to my plan

Of grabbin' all I can

'Stead of livin' in a fantasy

See, your princess problems don't apply to me

Charming speech, but are you done?

"None for all and all for none."

Such a gift of hope you give!

Yeah, well, hope's in short supply

But, still, we have to try

Well, how about we try to... live?

So that's it? You give in?

Nah, you begin to get wise

'Cause you can't fix the world bakin' apple pies

Yeah, we got a classic case of princess problems

The castle's cozy, but it's cold outside

Sure, just write 'em off as princess problems

And stayin' selfish is justified!

That was harsh, but I'm proud!

Look at you, gettin' mean

Look, the kingdom needs help!

You should go tell the queen!

But I'm stayin' on the run

Lookin' out for number one

And that's the way it's gonna be

'Cause your princess problems

Don't

Apply

To me!

They don't apply to...

Me!