Introduction

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

CAPTAIN KIRK!

VS!

CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS!

BEGIN!

Arrivederci

I'mma leave before this battle begins

Cause we both know in the end

which of these captains gonna win

I’ll show you how a real

e plorer handles a situation

I’ll beat you so bad they’ll

feel it in the ne t generation

So bring it on

I’ll whip you like a Klingon

My rhymes will burrow in your

ears like The Wrath of Khan

I’ve got a neck chop for Spock

I’ll put my sword through Sulu

Check into a Priceline Hotel

and watch your fat ass on Hulu

I’m the enterprising

Captain James Tiberius Kirk

Representing Riverside

Iowa, planet Earth

I hear you call yourself an e plorer

But I’m just not having it

You discovered a new world

that was already inhabited

Why don’t you boldly go someplace

you’ve never gone before like India

Or any destination you

actually set sail for

You spaghetti eating f k

How’s your spice rack doing?

I’ll be chilling in my spaceship

Have fun canoeing

You know rapping against

you it’s not even fun

It’s like somebody set

your brains on stun

I am the fabric of history,

you are a fictional stain

I’ll stick a flag up your

ass and claim you for Spain!

Mr. Spock beam me back to 1492 so I

can beat this man like it’s my job

We’ll see how Isabella

likes my Captain’s log

It’s Kobayashi for you,

there’s no way you could win

When your weak crew sees me approaching

They’ll be like, dammit it’s Jim

I’ll double fist punch you,

you slave making bitch!

Now, take your genocidal

ass off of my bridge