I'm in love with the honourable Mr So And So

I can't mention his name with propriet'ry

He's a pillar of Gotham society

And the newspaper columnists all would love to know

I'm in love with the honourable Mr So And So

He goes out with a fashionable Lady So And So

While they dine and they dance in a swell room

I must wait in a stuffy hotel room

For the moments so rare

But convenient for him to spare

He gets terribly annoyed if he doesn't find me there

Why must I be living in a back street

Just so he can hide me

I long to shout it from the housetops

Instead of keeping it all inside me

There are so many fascinating places I could go

Invitations galore I get nightly

Awfully sorry I tell them politely

I'm in love with the honourable Mr So And So