Oi Reg meat and two veg

He done him with a ten pound sledge

He done himself a favour crash

Forty yearold arsewipe

Mrs Elizabeth Walker of Lambeth Walk

Had a husband who was jubblified

With only half a stalk

So she had a milk of magnesia

And curry powder sandwich

Half a pound of uncut pork

Took an overdose of Omo

This made the neighbours talk

Could have been watching Frankie Vaughan

On the telly and giving herself a scratch

This is what we find

This is what we find

This is what we find

A sense of humour is required

Amongst our bacon rind

Hello Brian wash and iron

Try it on it's only nylon

Single bachelor with little dog

Tony Green of Turnham Green

Said Who's a clever boy then girl

Yes you know whom I mean

'Cause the mongrel laid a cable in the sandpit

Of the playground of the park

Where they had been

And with a bit of tissue

He wiped its bumhole clean

A bit of claggy on the waggy

This is what we find

This is what we find

This is what we find

I must have had a funny time

On the Golden Hind

O vanitas vanitatum

Which of us is happy in this life

Which of us has our desire

Or having it is gratified

Hello Mrs this boy looks familiar

They used to call him Robin Hood

Now he's Robin f**k shit c**t

Home improvement expert

Harold Hill of Harold Hill

Of doityourself dexterity

And doubleglazing skill

Came home to find another gentleman's kippers

In the grill

So sanded off his winkle

With his Black and Decker drill

This is what we find

This is what we find

This is what we find

The hope that springs eternal

Springs right up your behind

This is what we find

This is what we find

This is what we find

This is what we find

This is what we find

This is what we find

This is what we find

This is what we find