They say to have her hair done

l flies all the way to France

And Jackie's seen in a discotheque

doin' a brand new dance

And the White House social season

should be glittering and gay

But here in Topeka the rain is a fallin'

The faucet is a drippin'

and the kids are a bawlin'

One of them a toddlin' and one is

a crawlin' and one's on the way

I'm glad that Raquel Welch just

signed a million dollar pact

And Debbie's out in Vegas

workin' up a brand new act

While the TV's showin' Newlyweds

a real fun game to play

But here in Topeka the

screen door's a bangin'

The coffee's boilin' over

and the wash needs a hangin'

One wants a cookie and one wants

a changin' and one's on the way

Now what was I doin' Jimmy get away

from there darn there goes the phone

Hello honey what's that you say you're

bringin' a few ole buddies home

You're callin' from a

barn get away from there

No not you honey I was talkin' to the

baby wait a minute honey the door bell

Honey could you stop at the market

and hello hello well I'll be

The girls in New York City

they all march for women's lib

And Better Homes and Gardens

shows the modern way to live

And the pill may change the world

tomorrow but meanwhile today

Here in Topeka the flies are a buzzin'

The dog is a barkin' and

the floor needs a scrubbin'

One needs a spankin' and one needs

a huggin' Lord one's on the way

Oh gee I hope it ain't twins again