We're back!

Here's the news, all the news that's new and approved by the U.S.

Army, the sweetest smelling army in the world.

Great Britain recognized the island state of Singapore.

How do you recognize an island?

Hey, wait, no, don't tell me, wait, wait.

Didn't we meet last year at the Feynman Bar Mitzvah?

You look a lot like Hawaii.

Didn't we meet last year at the Peninsula Club?

The Mississippi River broke through a protective dike today.

What is a protective dike?

Is that a large woman standing by the river going, don't go near there.

Stop betting.

Don't go near there.

Get away from the river.

Stay away from there.

I know we can't use the word dyke.

You can't even say lesbian.

It's women in comfortable shoes.

Thank you very much.

Now, here's the weather.

We're going to go right to Roosevelt.

Roosevelt, how's it going?

Adrian, I'm with somebody.

Don't ever come here and bother me right now.

Well, thanks, Roswell.

Can't you give us a little weather?

Not now, man.

I'm on the balcony.

I'm trying to score.

Back off.

Well, what's the weather like?

You got a window?

Open it.

Thank you, Roosevelt.

We'll have to go to someone else for the weather.

I guess we'll have to go all the way to Washington, to Weather Central, to Walter Cronkite.

Walter, what's the weather like?

Weather out there today is hot and shitty with continued

Tomorrow, chance of continued crappy with a pissy weather front coming down from the north.

Basically, it's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut.

Okay, we're going to hit some songs at you right now.

Coming your way.