One out of two may end in divorce

But cold beer is cheaper than child support

Grandaddy's words they're all too clear

Save money son buy earplugs and beer

It sure makes me happy

Not to hear her bitch and moan

I thought she'd probably leave me

But I think it turns her on

'Cause lately we ain't fightin'

'Cause lately I can't hear

Works just like a charm

These earplugs and beer

She's screamin' out loud

And I can't hear a thing

Who would have thought

All the joy that this would bring

She gets to speak her mind

I get to sit right here

I saved my marriage son

With these earplugs and beer

BRIDGE

We've been married 20 years now

So far it's all been blessed

She fetches all my beers

And we always hug and kiss

When we cuddle up real tight

I shed a happy tear

I'm happy all day long

With my earplugs and beer

She's screamin' out loud

And I can't hear a thing

Who would have thought

All the joy that this would bring

She gets to speak her mind

I get to sit right here

I saved my marriage son

With these earplugs and beer

She gets to speak her mind

I get to sit right here

It Works just like a charm

With these earplugs and beer

(SPOKEN)

Now honey calm down calm down

You're turnin' red in the face

I am the man in this house

And I will not be pushed around

Doesn't mean I don't love ya

I need a beer honey

Now honey you know screamin' louder

Is not gonna help nothin'

All this fussin' and fightin'

Just ain't no need in it

I can't hear a word you're sayin'

Ain't gonna make me feel bad

Honey just sit down