I've been married and married and often i've sighed

I'm never a bridesmaid

I'm always the bride

I never divorced them

I hadn't the heart

Yet remember these sweet words

Till death do us part

I married many men a ton of them

Because i was untrue to none of them

Because i bumped off every one of them

To keep my love alive

Sir paul was a frail he looked a wreck to me

At night he was a horse's neck to me

So i performed an appendectomy

To keep my love alive

Sir thomas had insomnia

He couldn't sleep at night

I bought a little arsenic

He's sleeping now all right

Sir philip played the harp

I cussed the thing

I crowned him with his harp to bust the thing

And now he plays where harps are just the thing

To keep my love alive

To keep my love alive

I thought sir george had possibilities

But his flirtations made me ill at ease

And when i'm ill at ease i kill at ease

To keep my love alive

Sir charles came from a sanatorium

And yelled for drinks in my emporium

I mixed one drink he's in memoriam

To keep my love alive

Sir francis was a singing bird

An nightingale this way

I tossed him off my balcony to see if he could fly

Sir athelstane indulged in fratricide

He killed his dad and that was patricide

One night i stabbed him by my mattress side

To keep my love alive to keep my love alive