Lyricist : Lanardo Smith

Composer : Lanardo Smith

1. Mama doesn’t even know

2. When her son is coming home

3. Mum I dont ****ing know

4. Cos I’m working 24s

5. All this mother****ing stress fam

6. Everywhere I go

7. I dont even ****ing know

8. if I can do this anymore

9. But then I look up in your eyes

10. And I forget all the lies

11. I grew older I got wise

12. We can’t be this anymore

13. I’ma buy you a house

14. I’ma change our ****ing lives

15. And it’s gonna be like

16. As if we were never poor

1. 15 years old we was chilling in the park

2. Only time I felt myself was when I’m high after dark

3. Never had money for shoes, never stepped inna clarks

4. But then god gave me a chance, so that I could advance

5. By the time I was 16 I was sipping on lean

6. Popping pills and Molly I was moving like a fiend

7. I tried almost every drug cos my life lacked love

8. I was moving for my uncle just so I could smoke some weed

9. But then I hit 17 here’s when everything changed

10. Fam I had a bad trip after that shit was strange

11. It was so traumatic fam I was so scared

12. For the rest of my life, now my visions impaired

13. HPPD, nah its not easy

14. I was looking in the mirror and I didn’t see me

15. Depersonalisation fam I couldn’t believe

16. That anything was real I swear to god I couldn’t breathe

1. After that I sobered up, I had to focus on my music

2. Man I lost all my friends but my life I didn’t lose it

3. Yeah I travelled up to London so that I could really do it

4. All my friends stopped caring man that is what the truth is

5. Now there’s gold in my teeth, I cant even use a toothpick

6. Shout out JME, cos he helped a brudda move in

7. To the big city, I was homeless, I was screwing

8. But he believed in me he really thought that I could do this

9. Flash forward couples years, probably drank 500 beers

10. Now I’m on a new level making 100k a year

11. I’m finally an adult, 21 this year

12. Tryna focus on myself cant watch anyones career

13. These intrusive thoughts they make it hard to see clear

14. But I know that I will make it ignoring the fear

15. I’m grateful for what I have right now, right here

16. But when you have these goals it’s kinda hard to get near

1. Now I’m dealing with my past, I don’t wanna wear a mask

2. Come far from being high and sleeping all up in my class

3. Yeah I’m coming from abuse and neglect its not a laugh

4. Why do you think I ****ing tatted up my face so hard

5. Why do you think that I love the ****ing pain and the scars

6. I been judging on myself, I been being too harsh

7. I’m still trying to be perfect but really fam I can’t

8. I been conditioned so that I self sabotage

9. I know we been through shit I still bought my mum a car

10. Telling mummy that I love her and that loves gonna last

11. Now I need to get my own one so that I can cruise past

12. If you touch my ****ing family I’ma put you on blast

13. Need to organise myself, need to organise my wealth

14. Drinking way too ****ing much, its been ****ing with my health

15. But I guess thats the life of a ****ing rockstar

16. I got shows every weekend need to go and spit some bars