I'm

Counting back

The number of the steps

It took for me to get

Back on

The wagon of the weekend

I'll

Use the autoti

Mer to prove that I'll

Get home

With my imagination

If

They find

The body in the basement

"In

The ve

Ry house that she was raised in!"

I'm

Taking down

The number of the Times

So when we get the sign

From God

I'll be the first to call them

I'm

Taking back

The number of the Beast

'Cause six

Is not a pretty number

Eight

Or three

Are definitely better

A

Is for

The address on the letter

To my alcoholic friends

I'm

Trying hard

Not to be ashamed

Not to know the name

Of who

Is waking up beside me

Or

The date

The season or the city

But

At least

The ceiling's very pretty

And

If you

Are holding it against me

I'll be on my best behavior

Taking shots for Mother Nature

Once my fist is in the cupboard

Love is never falling over

(One, two, three, four!)

Should

I choose

A noble occupation?

If

I did

I'd only show up late and

Sick

And they

Would stare at me with hatred

Plus

My o

Nly natural talent's wasted

On my alcoholic friends

My alcoholic friends

The party never ends

My alcoholic friends