I'm used to beginnings
But not used to keeping it bottled
This is the result of me doing it
Now that i'm hollow
Why is it so hard to just be you
Instead of follow
There's a void in my heart
A part of it's turning colossal
Every thought I have is awful
Like "would I be better dead?"
Gotta get out of my head
Smiling, but always pretend
Always gotta f*****g reason
For me to regret what I said
But i'm still counting my blessing
And I wish that I could be there
Found my light within essence
In the city of tears
And I wanna tell bout how much has changed
But it's different, know that it's difficult being the same
Think i'm in clinical pain
See I would open my veins if we could just try to be sane
Or you could just do me a favor and get the f*ck out of my brain
Don't come in again
So i'm flipping the page
Show 'em that i'm doing better
It's the end of the rain
Thought I saw it last forever
Say I never put in effort
Always building up the pressure
That was never my endeavor
Then she left because I let her
Only leaving me a letter
Bleeding, opened up and severed
I know that you deserve better
And I believe I'm the problem
Gotta f*****g make hell
Just for me to go solve it
And I see when you text
Just never know what to respond with
It doesn't get easy the more that we go
See now i'm just lost and
Out of my options
Stuck in a box
And should be calling it a coffin
I think i'm sick and i've lost it
After all this i'm exhausted
Every thought is in a mosh pit
The way you made me feel often
Has a future that follows
Even if ain't you
I know it, deep down
That I won't be hollow
