There's one guy I'd like to thank

He signs the checks and leaves them blank

He's the one to know

He says you don't have to walk a plank

The game is rigged go fig your slide show

Tanked and your flagship sank so

We're taking all our myths to the bank

So just don't forget who to thank

'Cause we're taking our

Our myths to the drinking a fifth to the

We're taking all our myths to the bank oh no

If you could just do him this favor

Although it might involve child labor

Join his entourage give him a foot massage

From Star Search to the Philharmonic

He'll get you there with Hooked on Phonics

He's the one to know

Doesn't matter if you blow no no no no no

In fact it's just the thing

He thinks we're needing

It's a lukewarm liquid diet they're force feeding

When the words we use have lost their bite

Now they hit you like an imaginary pillow fight

But it's all right

Yeah 'cause you're inside and you're in tight

Deals in commodities of the abstract sort

Buys them in bulk but then he sells it short

Talent genius love even signs of affection

He floods the market there's no price protection

And when his master plan is unfurled there stands

A handsome bid on the weather systems of the world