She climbs a tree

And scrapes her knee

Her dress has got a tear

She waltzes on her way to mass

And whistles on the stair

And underneath her wimpole

She has curlers in her hair

I ever hear her singing in the abbey

She's always late for chapel

But her penitence is real

She's always late for everything

Except for every meal

I hate to have to say it

But I very firmly feel

Maria's not an asset to the abbey

I'd like to say a word in her behalf

Maria makes me laugh

How do you solve a problem like Maria

How do you catch a cloud and pin it down

How do you find a word that means Maria

A flibberti gibbet

A willo' the wisp

A clown

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her

Many a thing she ought to understand

But how do you make her stay

And listen to all you say

How do you keep a wave upon the sand

Oh how do you solve a problem like Maria

How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand

When I'm with her I'm confused

Out of focus and bemused

And I never know exactly where I am

Unpredictable as weather

She's as flighty as a feather

She's a darling

She's a demon

She's a lamb

She'd out-pester any pest

Drive a hornet from his nest

She can throw a whirling dervish

Out of whirl

She is gentle

She is wild

She's a riddle

She's a child

She's a headache

She's an angel

She's a girl

How do you solve a problem like Maria

How do you catch a clown and pin it down

How do you find a word that means Maria

A flibberti gibbet

A willo' the wisp

A clown

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her

Many a thing she ought to understand

But how do you make her say

And listen to all you say

How do you keep a wave upon the sand

Oh how do you solve a problem like Maria

How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand