Stockings are hung on the chimney

And the presents are under the tree

And Mamma's in the kitchen

Making some herbal tea

Windows are covered with frost

And the candles are all alight

But as I wander

Through this quiet house

Something just doesn't seem right

You see every year

The neighbors bring us

A Swiss Colony Beeflog

But the neighbors aren't around

And there's no beeflog to be found

This year

No Beeflog

Christmas isn't Christmas

Without a Swiss Colony Beeflog

Without those cheeses and meat

I don't think I can get along

My Mother tries to comfort me

She says 'Here son have some eggnog

But I f**king hate eggnog seriously

But what do I see

Underneath the tree

Grandma got a Swiss Colony Beeflog

Just for me

Aaah aaaaah aaaaaah grandma

Swiss Colony Beeflog baby

That's what Christmas is all about

A roly-poly Colony beeflog lady

Makes a little boy scream and shout

Deck the halls with boughs of Swiss Colony

Fa-la-la-la-la laa-laa-laa-laaaa sweet