Your Excellence tried the best fighters

Who've adventured far and wide

But I promise that you've never

Met a troop so qualified

There's Grog, our mighty giant, he's a simple-minded hulk

And Percy's pepperbox can blow apart your f*****g skull

Nature hath no fury quite like Keyleth the Ashari

Controlling plants and animals, she's a magical safari

The twins, Vex and Vax, she shoots, he hides in the pitch

They're stealthy and quite deadly, but I forget which one is which

(He's Vax, she's Vex)

Pike's divinity is pure, her hands can always heal

Oh, and did I mention we have a bear? Trinket, no big deal

And as for myself? My name is Scanlan

The man with the phat purple hand

My music's the jam, going ham, you can't stand it

Get some water, hide your daughters

Oh, uh, sorry

Brave warriors are we and far more clever than a fox

They'll tell tale of our exploits in the Legend of Vox

Machina