I want to tell you all the story
'Bout a Harper Valley widowed wife
Who had a teenage daughter
Who attended Harper Valley Junior High
Well, her daughter came home
One afternoon
And didn't even stop to play
And she said, "Mom, I got a note here
From the Harper Valley PTA"
Well, the note says, "Mrs. Johnson
You're wearing your dresses way too high
It's reported you've been drinkin'
And a runnin' 'round with men
And goin' wild
"And we don't believe you ought to be
A bringin' up your little girl this way
And it was signed by the secretary
Harper Valley PTA
Well, it happened that the PTA
Was gonna meet that very afternoon
And boy were sure surprised
When Mrs. Johnson wore her miniskirt
Into the room
And as she walked up to the
Blackboard I can still recall
The words she had to say
She said, "I'd like to address this
Meeting Of the Harper Valley PTA"
"Well, there's Bobby Taylor sittin'
There And seven times he asked me
For a date
And Mrs. Taylor sure seems to
Use a lotta ice
Whenever he's away"
"And Mr. Baker, can you tell us
Why your secretary had to
Leave this town?
And shouldn't widow Jones be told
To keep her window shades all pulled
Completely down?"
"Well, Mr. Harper couldn't be here
'Cause he stayed too long
At Kelly's Bar again
And if you'll smell Shirley
Thompson's breath
You'll find she's had a
Little nip of gin
"And then you have the nerve to tell me
You think that as a mother I not fit
Well, this is just a little Payton Place
And you're all Harper Valley hypocrites"
No, I wouldn't put you on
Because it really
Did it happened just this way
That day my mama socked it
To the Harper Valley PTA
That day my mama socked it
To the Harper Valley PTA
