ill take his hand

as a sign of validation

cause i need appreciation

and all of my worth

is in a little jar

thrown away so far

covered in liquor

and little red hearts

and i like those pants

but theyre not my type

cause every time i look into the mirror

all i wanna do is hide

and i just want to die

cause i hate everything i hide

and all my friends look pretty in the daylight

while i choke myself with my low self esteem

anxiety

im trying to breathe

but its hard to see myself the way they see me

while i like it better watching me bleed

and my lilac dress

never looked good on me

and these blue mom jeans

have always hated me

and i hated to grow

so i carved my skin and wrote

that i was only eight years old

so i starve a little more

cause my sisters turning twenty

in just a couple days more

and if i wanna look bold

i should fake a belly ache

to avoid this damn pain

knowing what it does to my brain

and i like that sweater

so ill sweat a little more

cause i know better

than to think i look close

to the girls out there

with their bleach blonde hair

and their ocean eyes

while i bleed through mine

now i hate everything that i see

and i cant eat

anything

without wanting to hurt me please

please just be kinder please

dont tell me what i already know about me

and my lilac dress

never looked good on me

and these blue mom jeans

have always hated me

and i hated to grow

so i carved my skin and wrote

that i was only eight years old

oh-oh-oh

i was only eight years old