Beer belly blues

What color are my new shoes?

'cause my feet & belt buckle are things I rarely see.

My problem is not my glands,

it comes poured from aluminum cans,

and Pabst Blue Ribbon's been awfully good to me.

And honey when you buy my shirts,

make sure they're triple-XLs

4 or 5 people I know at work

have started calling me Orson Welles.

I've got endorsement offers

From Michelob Light & Strohs,

And Junior Samples family called,

And they're savin' me his old clothes.

Beer belly blues

What color are my new shoes?

'cause my pants & my zipper

are things I rarely see.

My Momma says I'm big-boned,

I'm built like a Jim Walter home.

and Old Milwaukee's been

awfully good to me.

Yeah, I used to be a lean 175,

now I'm way over 3.

It's gettin' to the point where

my own wife don't wanna

slow dance with me,

'cause I like to eat and watch TV,

and knock out a case or two.

Even people like Sally Struthers say

That I need to lose a few.

Beer belly blues

Are somethin' that I can't lose.

If Richard Simmons saw me,

he'd cry, and hold my hand.

Yeah, but I couldn't touch my knees

if I was sweatin' to the oldies,

and Old Milwaukee's been

awfully good to me.

Yeah, Pabst Blue Ribbon's been

awfully good to me.

Yeah, yeast in general's been

awfully good to me.