This shit feel like Little Bill on Monday morning
Right before my momma told me that I had to go in
I ain't wanna go outside, school felt like opponent
All the teachers hated on me cause they needed more than I was giving
I was trying to live in the moment
I was always tryna fly, but they told me "hold it"
They wanted money on my mind, but I never folded
You Anakin with dollar bills, I'm Wan like Kenobi, ay, uh
I don't wanna go to school, I don't want no 9-5
I just wanna find myself in the midst of my music, I-
Lose myself on a daily basis
I guess I'm just a product of growing up in places, speaking a foreign language
Who I was was a different person before the hatred
Who I am is darker person after the matrix
This is theory of Winnicott I can't be on fake shit
Cause they couldn't handle truth, now I'm full of maintenance, uh
Been stuck in my head
All these feelings I'm feeling
Been losing my mind
Feels like I'm slipping
When everything around me feels like a prism
Celled in my own mind
The world is a prison
Tell me that you can feel it
Tell me that you feel it
Oh you say you're saving me?
Thought I came in as the artist
But you're creatively restraining me the hardest
Workarounds that make the rounds, I got the Aesop in my sleeve
But if I can't pay for heat, career-less are bereaved
Have no time to slow, I get no pension from obsessions of pens
Scribble down ideas fast, then hope it never ends
Couldn't ever fend off accusations of a lack of a job
That's cause it's true, that's why I lose myself in bongs
They tell me "think practical", no money made while you're independent
Made it through mental health alone, they giving me a pendant?
F**k them, really get to know someone by their energy flow
Some people write the bars, and others write foreclosed
All grown, and y'all don't share like a kindergarten class
How ironic compared to what kids are spitting over wax
6th grader read me cross the room, and asked me what was wrong
While label execs would probably never listen to this song
No, no, no, no, no, no
She said "Sorry sir, we out of the strawberry lemonade"
"It's been a b**h of day"
"Can I get you another drink?"
Normally I'd pout walking out with a "that's okay"
Not gon' make a big charade
Be considerate of her day
But today is something different
We're feeling quite inconsiderate
Literally, this lemonade the only thing that could've gave me relief
Liquid mental Aleve
From this pensive disease
Staring at her like "please, ugh"
What you don't know, what you don't see
Mental mail 'bout to bust at the seam
Overwhelmed, overthinking cell
Till I finally tell her
"Just one sip and I'm free!"
I know I seem to only be a Wendy fiend
But see, the peace I need peaced out along with a piece of me
Been stuck in my head
All these feelings I'm feeling
Been losing my mind
Feels like I'm slipping
When everything around me feels like a prism
Celled in my own mind
The world is a prison
Tell me that you can feel it
Tell me that you feel it
I bless these beats with the wrath of God
Good will is cheap, talk is talk
If I arrange my thoughts into sonnets
Would you be honest in telling me to stop?
I think not, furthermore
This is for every obsessive unhinged thought
Contingent on the fact that I give into compulsions
When really I should stop
No please, tell me when to stop
If I thought spitting 16 was impressive
I wouldn't have done this song
If I thought all was lost I wouldn't have gone in on sunken costs
All right, look inwards to see the visage of Job
Got a hold on me since what I saw was a long path home
A long dark road, no bends and no turns, but who knows
It could be a matter of perspective, and that hurts
Knowing all the things I bailed on cause I wasn't the first
A pioneer is someone who's never learned to fear the hearse
I unravel through verse in a dead man's lurch
Pretending I'm alive, but really I'm just nerves
Twitching through impulses and cursed to never hear my dirge
